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Shadow Hearts Kink Meme
We also love Koudelka!
If Only for a Friend (Reply)
If Only for a Friend
2014-09-05 12:16 pm (UTC)
[FOR THE 'ZHUZHEN AND HIS 'PROBLEM'' REQUEST. Live, Shadow Hearts fandom, liiive!Been replaying the first two games this past month back to back, and, uh, yeah.]
[ ~ If Only for a Friend ~ ]
A roach skittered across the floor, engaged in an Olympic obstacle course made up of moldy food, liquor containers, torn up lottery tickets, and dirty clothes. The insect’s family cheered it on from a comfortable bleacher constructed from what some might view to be nothing more than a worn out boot.
Yuri Hyuga slinked his arms over the sage’s frail shoulders and down his torso. “Come on, old man. Neither of us has time to spare. World’s going to end, like, next week. No way am I dying a virgin!”
The famous Tao master Zhuzhen Li was regretting having ever walked into this hellhole. He’d just meant to check up on his traveling companion to see how he was fairing in this time of crisis; the young man had seemed so quiet after the sinister magician Albert Simon had raised an unholy Float from the ocean and into the heavens. But now, well, Zhuzhen couldn’t find the words to describe Yuri right now. Quiet would have been preferable to…this. “Blast it all, we both know you’re not innocent. Alice can certainly testify to that! Oh, that’s right! Margaret would fit snuggly on the jury bench too! Need I remind you of a certain ‘party of three’ I had the most unfortunate of luck to walk in on back at the hotel in Rouen?”
“Man, was I talking about pussy? No. I mean, you know, what I meant was that I ain’t gonna die a virgin… back ‘there’,” the Harmonixer buried his face in Zhuzhen’s neck, muffling a drunken fit of laughter.
“Crass, boy. Always so damn crass.”
“Can’t spell crass without ass,” Yuri exclaimed, reaching for a disappointedly empty bottle, “that’s what I’ve been talking about this whole time! So, we gonna do this or what?”
“Do what? There’s nothing to be done! Now unhand me before I bite off your fingers, one by one!” Zhuzhen peeled Yuri off from his body, and quickly shuffled over to the other side of the room. He straightened his tunic with exaggerated movement, vaguely aware of being watched.
“Do ‘it’,” came the husky reply. Zhuzhen stared at the young man as if he were poisonous. The Harmonixer folded over the twin-sized bed, wiggling his backside just slightly, but very noticeably. Tempted to grab the long trench coat lazily slung over a chair and throw it over the so-called son of honorable Ben Hyuga, Zhuzhen instead chose to silently chant a calming mantra. Unfortunately, his concentration was weak this evening.
“What? You really don’t want to?” mumbled Yuri without turning around. “Or is it that you can’t?”
“Sorry, would you like to repeat that second part?”
“Shit, can’t get it up and you’re going deaf? Is this what I have to look forward to if we survive the apocalypse and I manage to make it to even half your age? Screw that. Maybe dying young would be a blessing.”
“Is that so? Fancy dying tonight then? I got a one-way ticket straight to hell with your name on it.”
“You gonna grant me a ‘little death’, Master Zhuzhen?” a flash of tongue dragged over sharp teeth. The Taoist’s brow twitched but he only managed to shoo his hand at the Harmonixer in response.
After a moment that seemed to slosh well into the next decade, Yuri rolled over and propped himself up on an elbow. “There’s stuff to fix problems like that. Herbs or whatever. Can easily find some at convenience stores. No shame, no judgment. Ha… judgment. Judgment Ring. Maybe I could run out and get a couple hits for ya at discount with this new Sun Card!” The man roughly dug into the pockets of his unbuckled pants and then pulled out a rectangular object that glimmered in the dimly lit room. “Ta-da!”
“Don’t you dare ‘ta-da’ in my presence. Get out, get out, get out!” The sage’s arm snapped outward like an angry snake, pointing at the door. He’d forgotten that this wasn’t his room but Yuri didn’t seem to notice. It was an easy to forget detail after so many months of bunking together at the same hotels throughout their travels.
“Sheesh! You’re just rearin’ to get started! Hold that thought! Be back in a jiffy!”
“Yuri, I wasn’t-…!” but the Harmonixer had flown out of the room like a rogue gust before the sage could finish. “Blast! That idiot’s far worse than any alien god that might soon be landing!”
Zhuzhen Li gave a quick glance at the floor littered with cheap booze and, praise the ancestors, a discarded pipe. He bent down to check if the pipe had any hint of tobacco left but his luck proved to be growing worse by the passing hour.
~*~ SHADOW ~*~ HEARTS ~*~
Outside of the inn, Yuri waddled down the streets of London. He groggily made a mental checklist of everything he needed to purchase to keep the night alive. “Liquor, smokes, happy pills, an orphaned rat-… g’day, Halley.”
“Christ, really, Yuri? Four days until we’re all blown to smithereens and you’re wasting time being-…”
“Wasted! That’s right. Care to join me? If not, piss off. I’m on a mission.”
“Classy. Asking a fresh lad half your age to get smashed. Tell me, should I call the coppers now or after we party?” Halley Bracket habitually tilted his cap forward. The lamplight above cast shadows around the boy’s pale face, giving him a somewhat suspicious appearance. All London Rats were suspicious to begin with though, especially their leader.
“Feh! Could you imagine? The one person who can save this planet gets locked up in the slammer right before the big show. ‘London Bridge fallin’ down’ is right! Ha ha…ha. Eh… now I’m depressed again. Make yourself useful and tell me where the nearest big kid store is. It’s down that way, right?” in typical Rude Hero fashion, Yuri didn’t give Halley the chance to reply as he strode off.
The child galloped after him, more adeptly dodging annoyed civilians than the intoxicated Harmonixer ever could, even sober. The city pulsed with energy, completely ignorant that its future was in the hands of someone currently having trouble even standing up. “You know, you really could use a shirt right about now. Your fly’s down too.”
~*~ SHADOW ~*~ HEARTS ~*~
The Psychic wrinkled his nose at a vagabond who was walking much too close to him in the narrow aisle. Loudly flapping the newspaper in his hands in hopes of wordlessly telling the sketchy bloke off, Halley shifted his attention to Yuri who was smugly demonstrating his Judgment Ring prowess to a pretty clerk. “She’s just barely older than I am, you freak,” he muttered under his breath, flipping over a page.
“You think 20% off is impressive? Watch me hit 30%! Uh, throw in another case of beer… ya, I’ll buy some more schnapps as well. With these savings, I’d be a fool not to! Ha ha!”
With a sigh, Halley folded the newspaper and tossed it back on the rack. He jabbed his thumbs down his pockets and begrudgingly strode up behind the Harmonixer. The clerk clapped her hands in congratulations, as the Wheel of Fate continually bent to Yuri’s will. Even Halley had to admit that the gambler was impressive. As the bizarre courtship between Yuri and the clerk continued, the bored Halley half-heartedly fingered at a bag on the counter that had already been paid for. His eyebrows knitted together, unsure of what one of the items inside was. The son of Koudelka pulled the bag closer while Yuri slurred on about how anyone could master the Judgment Ring with a little schooling, even a cute little girl such as the clerk.
The dame giggled as she began wrapping up the rest of the rest of the rogue’s spoils, not once taking her gaze off the exquisite torso on full display before her. Halley was doing the exact opposite, silent while busy unwrapping the green velvet pouch he’d unearthed. “This tobacco or something?” he said with doubt, sniffing it. “Doesn’t smell like it. Some kind of spice?”
Yuri tried ignoring the boy but after a couple of pokes in the ribs, he gave in. “You’ll understand when you’re older,” Yuri wrestled the pouch from the child’s surprisingly firm grip. The annoyance in his voice was visible in the vein that had popped up on Yuri’s forehead.
“Understand what? Is it drugs? Doesn’t reek like hash does.”
“How the hell does a pipsqueak like you know how hash smells? Whatever, don’t answer that. It ain’t that kind of drug anyway.”
“Sooo, it must be some sort of sex thing?”
“Damn it, smartass, if you already knew then why are you being such a pest?”
“It happens to everyone eventually, mister!” chirped the clerk helpfully.
“Nothing to be ashamed of. My Gran’mum buys it all the time when Gran’da returns from military leave!”
A dark energy cut through the atmosphere. The Psychic glanced around, expecting a demon to materialize but when it didn’t, he blinked in Yuri’s direction.
“You thought this was for… it isn’t for me,” said Yuri in an uncharacteristically monotone voice. He leaned forward in such a dangerous way that the clerk had to backup to keep their noses from touching. “I. Am. Only. Twenty-Four. I do NOT need this stuff.”
“I said it wasn’t for me! I’m buyin’ it for-…” Yuri stopped short, all too aware of the juvenile delinquent staring up at him with wide eyes, “…a friend.”
Halley’s lips, usually stuck in a semi-permanent scowl when in such rotten company, began to slowly curl upward. “A friend?”
“A friend!” Yuri gathered the shopping bags in a single swoop up into in his arms.
“I didn’t mean anything by it, sir,” called out the clerk to the customer who had already stormed out of the building. “Many women appreciate a grizzled man! Honest!”
“A single grey hair constitutes as ‘grizzled’ these days? Lady, do you have any idea how much stress I’ve been under this week? This entire freakin’ year? Shit! Maybe London really should fall!” came a scream from all the way across the pavement.
Halley chomped down on his lower lip to prevent any sound from escaping, not bothering to chase after Yuri Hyuga, self-proclaimed savior of planet Earth. ‘Oh, Margaret’s going to enjoy this little tale. She’s going to enjoy it so much.’
[ The End. ]
[ ~by VileOfTanMoths ]
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